Aparigraha & Alignment
I used to use prayer as a tool to ask the Divine for things that I wanted or thought that I needed. Sometimes these things came into fruition and I was happy, other times I observed outcomes that were not to my liking and I found myself feeling frustrated and abandoned. I thought perhaps there was no Divine force in the universe, or that if there was, it surely was not listening to me.
This path of thinking was leading to suffering because when things didn’t go my way, I was taking the outcomes in my life very personally. I was feeling the part of the victim; unloved and un-cared for.
After repeating this scenario over and over, I had an incredible realization. I was not practicing Aparigraha (non-attachment in my life. I was also not taking full responsibility for MY actions in my life. I was basing my happiness on whether or not I RECEIVED the things that I asked for, instead of taking on the challenge there was more work to me done. Internally, my reaction was that of a child that was told he had to go to bed when he vehemently didn’t want to.
I had to realign. I had to stop using my prayers and meditation as a vehicle to ask someone or something for things in my life and acting like it was their job to deliver. I also had to find peace with the fact that I don’t necessarily get everything that I want, (at least when I want it) and that not everything that I want is what is best for me.
I started using my prayer and meditation as a time to focus on the things I was trying to manifest, so that as I made it through my day, I could remember what those things were and allow MY ACTIONS to align with those ideas. I also prayed that no matter what the outcome, that I remain grateful for the connection that I have with the Divine and remember that as long as I keep that connection I can remain in a blissful state. No matter what I get or don’t get.
With this new alignment, It now seems that more opportunities are popping up and my eyes are open so that I can see them. I find myself more peaceful, calm, grateful and blissful no matter the outcome of my wants and desires. I humbly take action towards the things I am trying to manifest and stay thankful for the wonderful things I already have. I realise that anything that I have or will attain is only temporary and attachment to these things will only lead to pain. Suffering is optional.